A newt is a warty crested lizard, pock-marked skin and flabby jowls, that emits a foul-smelling odour, ruthlessly catches and devours its prey but takes off like a scalded cat when threatened itself. It was thus with uncanny clairvoyance that the parents of Newton Leroy Gingrich named him Newt when he was born (created?) in 1943. For arguably he’s the most vile repulsive polymer-based life form on the face of the planet at this time.
Why do I say that? Where to begin? Well, Newt’s a great believer in Christian Marriage, so enthusiastic for it that he’s been married three time already. He married the first (Jackie Battley) while he was still a schoolboy and she his geometry teacher, and from whom, I would imagine he learned a few nifty new angles. But sadly, she contracted serious cancer. One day he got up, went to his critically ill wife in hospital and forced her to sign divorce papers. Meanwhile the next Mrs. Gingrich (Marianne Ginther) was at home in Wife One’s bed, having spent the night therein shagging Gingrich. According to L.H. Carter, his campaign treasurer, Gingrich said of Battley: "She's not young enough or pretty enough to be the wife of the President. And besides, she has cancer”
But Wife Two didn’t look after her health. Big mistake. Newt likes his wives to be brimming with health. Despite his enthusiasm for Christian Marriage, he never seemed to have got to the ‘for better or worse’ bit, and when Marianne got multiple sclerosis she was ditched by this noxious repellant creep. But not before he had milked some publicity out of it by performing his Caring Husband routine for the benefit of the assembled MSM presstitutes. And there was yet another factor that hastened her demise. For the future Speaker of the House of Representatives was in the saddle yet again, this time with a young lady who was, ahem, working under him on one of his campaigns at the time. Callista Bisek was also nearly a quarter of a century younger than him (still is).
Apparently he was caught in flagrante delicto with Callista on top of his office desk by a another campaign worker. Callista seems to possess Newt’s moral flexibility for she professes to be a ‘devout Roman Catholic’. I see, a devout Catholic shagging a married man on his office desk while his wife suffered at home with MS. In any event, she’s so devout that Newt has now decided to ‘convert’ to Catholicism. Isn't that something? What was the Damascene spur? Was it at a moment of climax as he called out the Holy Name? Who knows? The Lord moves in mysterious ways. Or maybe he’s negotiating with the Pope for some high-value indulgences in exchange for who knows what? He could do with them.
Now you must understand that while all of this was going on Newt was leading the campaign in the House against Bill Clinton for his ‘immoral’ behavior. While simultaneously presiding over the passage of the Defense of Marriage Act. But he has taken, in fairness, firm and principled on several issues, such as the fate of Freddie Mac and Fannie May and House healthcare initiatives. He was so principled that it took him tens of millions of dollars to switch his support to the opposite side. Newt in fairness doesn’t give up his principles cheaply.
The scale, depth and sheer brazenness of his corruption were so bad that even the House of Representatives, that bought and paid for den of thieves and charlatans, could no longer stomach it and fined him $300,000, the first time in the House's 200-year history it had disciplined a Speaker for ethical wrongdoing.. Nice one, Newt! And this despite the fact that as Speaker of the House he had appointed the ethics committee.
Newt also likes wars, especially those being pushed by the Israelis, and is now a passionate advocate for attacking Iran. Of course, like all the rest of the chicken hawks, his passion for wars doesn’t extend to his actually taking part in them. But you kinda guessed that, didn’t you? He enthusiastically supported the Vietnam adventure but dodged the draft by marrying his teacher and deploying a range of other dodges. Still, he was a great supporter of ‘our brave troops’ and doubtless wept copious tears as the body bags landed by the tens of thousands.
But ironically, this high-minded patriotism was his undoing. Listen to Newt "I was doing things that were wrong, and yet, I was doing them because I worked too hard". Why? “Because I felt passionately ... about this country." Poor guy, he was wrapped so tight in the flag, it must have cut off the air supply to his head. So now we know that all the adultery, corruption, about-faces and multiple marriages occurred because he worked so hard for the America he loves so much! So can you imagine what he’ll be like if he has to handle a Presidential workload? Well Callista will be for the chop, that’s for sure. Meanwhile she’d better stay real close to her doctor. Have even the mildest sniffle checked out.
And talking of Presidential workloads I see that Gingrich is now leading the Republican field. As I asked in a recent post, can it be an accident that the American political system (especially the Republicans) throws up (appropriate that!) such a vile, degenerate, noxious, repulsive, ignorant and incoherent selection of candidates? Is the political system so debased that a country that has lead the world in almost every arena for the last century cannot do better? Or does it mean that the real wielders of power arrange things so that they have vulnerable bought-and-paid-for sock puppets in the White House at all times? Or more specifically that they want to ensure Four More Years for Barry by putting up an unelectable Repub candidate?
I don’t know, but either way the stench is sickening.