The previous post has attracted a lot of attention and brought a lot of entertainment to a lot of readers. Inspired by this I now bring you a full length vid (well, 10 minutes) of a truly dramatic event in Oakland CA. This has been captured on camera by a budding Steven Spielberg and plays out with the dramatic intensity of a Shakespearian tragedy.
I've acquired the services of a specialist to explain the plot as the dialogue is almost totally in Ebonics.
Pantsless Pink Tights Pregnant Lady
Blue Dress Pregnant Lady
Surly Grey Shirt Gentleman
White Heavy Metal Chick
It appears Pantsless Pink Tights Pregnant Lady and Blue Dress Pregnant Lady initiated the attack first on the Other Pantsless Lady for doing something that was untoward. Pantsless Pink Tights Pregnant Lady then continues to goad Other Pantsless Lady who now has found comfort in minivan of her friends, but does not appreciate still being provoked after fact.
Then, One Surly Gentleman In Gray Shirt accompanying Other Pantsless Lady and White Heavy Metalishchick begins to intervene and tells Pantsless Pink Tights Pregnant Lady that she should stop talking or he will have to become physical because that's the way things are settled in Burger King parking lots in Oakland, regardless if she's pregnant or not.
Alas, Pantsless Pink Tights Pregnant Lady goes into Burger King to accumulate weaponry in the form of a plastic baby seat. She then spits at the minivan (an assault!) which infuriates White Heavy Metalishchick who goes all berserko gorilla on Pantless Pink Tights Pregnant Lady. Other Pantsless Lady then begins kidney-punch assault as White Heavy Metalishchick continues berserko gorilla attack.
Then Surly Gentleman In Gray Shirt comes in, separates the women, and begins to land thunderous blows to Pantsless Pink Tights Pregnant Lady. (The documentarian of this film interjects that the Pantsless Pink Tights Pregnant Lady should have known this was coming because she was in a Burger King parking lot in Oakland saying not-so-nice things about Oakland, which apparently results in a triple-team beatdown. Duly noted.)
But Pantsless Pink Tights Pregnant Lady, full of moxie and pride, continues to bait the minivan even though her face has now sprouted baked potato-sized lumps and a bloody lip. She hurls plastic baby seat at minivan as it drives off.
This catches the attention of an Lady Dressed Like The Phantom (remember him?) who explains to the Pantsless Pink Tights Pregnant Lady that her mother should become physical with her because she is impolite or something. As we know, Pantless Pink Tights Pregnant Lady does not take kindly to these insults so she gives it right back to Lady Dressed Like The Phantom.
Bad move, as we come to find out that Lady Dressed Like The Phantom is still spry and also has a short fuse, despite her accelerated age. Plus she's wielding a water bottle which, in Oakland, doubles as a bludgeoning device. Lady Dressed Like A Phantom storms into Burger King after Pantsless Pink Tights Pregnant Lady. Blue Dress Pregnant Lady has seen enough, though, and does not intervene.
This fight dies down quickly because the documentarian is now drawn back outside because a motorcycle cop was just almost run over by a car. Said documentarian reacts to this incident like a tornado chaser spotting an F5 over an empty field in North Dakota. He stops filming, but I assume America continued to eat itself in East Oakland that sultry afternoon.
On the subject of safety, the young gentleman in the gray shirt should take care to not recklessly batter young ladies about the head. Highly processed hair, and weaves, are incredibly abrasive and replete with toxins. He easily could have cut his hand putting himself at risk for a nasty, painful, and completely unnecessary infection (note that the young ladies prudently directed their blows toward the swollen abdomen - well done).
View and enjoy here.