Wednesday, 14 January 2009

The blonde and the postman


After 35 years of work, a postman is making the rounds on his last day. One family gives him cutlery as a gift, another one gives him $50, and when he rings at the third door, the door opens and a glamorous blonde appears.

She immediately takes him to the bedroom where they spend two hours having the most amazing sex. After the shower she presses a $5 bill into his hand.
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Thrilled but bewildered, he asks: "Can you explain all of this to me...?!?"
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The blonde responds: "well, yesterday, I told my husband that our postman is going to retire and we need to give him something, and he, replies: "fuck him,...... give him 5 dollars!"
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PS - be sure to check out the comments to this post - some more great blond jokes
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13 comments:

Anonymous said...

The UK version of this punchline; And my husband said,'fuck him, and give him a pound' sounds closer to natural speech.

Anonymous said...

For a racist blog I dont get it with all the blond jokes. Surely nigger jokes would be more in your line?

Anonymous said...

After hearing that Prince Harry was caught on camera saying, "Ah, our little paki friend.. Ahmed", Prince Philip has released a statement saying that he is ashamed and disappointed by his Grandson's behaviour.
He couldn't believe that he called the little paki bastard his friend.

Anonymous said...

I don't like all these racist jokes on here. I, myself, am from an ethnic minority.
A white Englishman living in Bradford!

Anonymous said...

A blonde went into a world wide message centre to send a message to her mother overseas.
When the man told her it would cost £300, she exclaimed: But I don't have any money. But I'd do ANYTHING to get a message to my mother".
The man arched an eyebrow (as we would expect) "Anything?" he asked. Yes,yes, anything" the blonde promised. "Well then, just follow me", said the man as he walked towards the next room. The blonde did as she was told and followed the man. "Come in And close the door" the man said. She did. He then said "Now get on your knees". She did. "Now take down my zipper". She did. "Now go ahead ...take it out ...." he said. She reached in and grabbed it with both hands then paused. The man closed his eyes and whispered "Well...go ahead". The blonde slowly brought her mouth closer to it ..and while holding it close to her lips, tentatively said...........
"Hello, mum can you hear me?"

Anonymous said...

Two Essex girls walk into a department store, They walk up to the perfume counter and pick up a sample bottle. Sharon sprays it on her wrist and smells it "That's quite nice innit, don't you fink Trace"
"Yeah what's it called?"
"Viens a moi"
"VIENS A MOI”, what does that mean?
At this stage the assistant offers some help.
"Viens a moi ladies is French for 'come to me'"
Sharon takes anther sniff and offers her arm to Tracey again saying "That doesn't smell like come to me, does that smell like come to you?"

Anonymous said...

There was a competition to cross the English channel doing only the breaststroke, and the three women who entered the race were a brunette, a redhead and a blonde. After approximately 14 hours, the brunette staggered up on the shore and was declared the fastest. About 40 minutes later, the redhead crawled up on the shore and was declared the second place finisher.
Nearly 4 hours after that, the blonde finally came ashore and promptly collapsed in front of the worried onlookers. When the reporters asked why it took her so long to complete the race, she replied, "I don't want to sound like I'm a sore loser, but I think those two other girls were using their arms..."

Anonymous said...

Racist blog is a marxist term for a blog that deals with reality,

eh said...

Surely nigger jokes would be more in your line?

So here's a "nigger joke" for you:

Sarah Palin has received an offer to pose nude from Playboy. Michelle Obama received the same offer from...National Geographic.

Anonymous said...

Two old dears having a coffee, one says to the other, "Did you come on the bus", "Yes", she replies, "but I made it look like an asthma attack".

Anonymous said...

@ Anonymous 14 Jan 20:56

Bored with life?.............No friends?.............
Drink furniture polish
A horrible death, but a beautiful finish.

Anonymous said...

A hungry Kakadu crocodile was waiting on a bank of a river for a boatload of plump American tourists. Days passed, no tourists. Finally an Aborigine came down to the river to spear barramundi, and although he was pretty skinny, the crocodile decided that he’d be better than nothing. So he lunged at him, grabbed his feet and began to gulp him down, bit by bit. Whereupon the long-awaited boat of American tourists came into view. One of them spied the head sticking out of the croc and said, “Look! Look!”
Another tourist, a blonde woman, said, “I thought they said Aborigines were poor. Well, there’s one with a Lacoste sleeping bag.”

Anonymous said...

A blonde is pregnant, and is practically 9 months along. She goes to see her doctor for a routine check-up, but she is worried. She asks, "What if the baby starts coming, and I can't get to the hospital in time?"
The doctor replies, "Well, women have been having babies for a million years without attendance by doctors. It's a very natural process. The first thing you do is to assume the same position you were laying in when you got pregnant."
The blonde interrupts with, "Do you mean with the left foot in the glove compartment and the right foot hanging out the window?"