Tuesday, 9 September 2008

You're an Islamophobe if....

(1) You refer to the midwinter holiday as ‘C*****mas’

(2) You save loose change in a p***y-bank.

(3) You allow your children to read uncensored versions of Winnie the Pooh.

(4) You aren't prepared to cast the first stone at a rape victim.

(5) You believe that the earth is round.

(6) You think there’s something weird about a 53 year old man marrying a six year old girl.

(7) You think that repeatedly banging your head on the floor five times a day might be a symptom if Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

(8) You object to being a third class citizen in your own country.

(9) You fail to celebrate cultural diversity and enrichment when your daughter is gang-raped for not wearing a headscarf.

(10) You think government policy should be determined by your elected representatives rather than a raging mob of savages.

(11) You object to your taxes being used to support people who are plotting to kill you.

(12) You aren’t convinced that ‘Jihad’ means ‘Inner Spiritual Struggle’.

(13) You don’t understand why the Jews must be exterminated.

(14) You aren’t married to at least one of your cousins.

(15) You aren't erotically attracted to toddlers.

(16) You sometimes have doubts about BBC reporting.

(17) You occasionally wonder what’s inside those walking tents.

(18) You realise that taqiyya is not a Mexican drink.

(19) You believe moderate Muslims ride unicorns.

(20) You don’t appreciate the multicultural need for Methodist grandmothers to be body-cavity searched before boarding aircraft.

(21) You claim to understand the meaning of “Slay the unbelievers wherever you find them", even though you don’t speak Arabic.

(22) You don't get sexually aroused by kissing meteorites.

(23) You have reservations about ‘faith schools’ where the kids will be taught that you and your family are najis (excrement), at public expense.

(24) You don’t understand why flying your country’s flag has become a hate-crime.

(25) You don’t believe that God is a brothel-keeper.

With due acknolwledgement to the Spartan Spectator

7 comments:

Rhein said...

(22) You don't get sexually aroused by kissing meteorites.

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I didn't get that one...

SAVANT said...

I dont know what that one means either. Aanyone help on this?

Joe O'Neill said...

I'm one

latté island said...

Maybe it refers to the Kaaba, the big meteorite everyone promenades around in Mecca.

latté island said...

Never mind my previous comment, the Kaaba is a building, not the stone. From Wiki:The Black Stone is a significant feature of the Kaaba, believed by Muslims to date back to the time of Adam and Eve.[7] Located on the eastern corner of the Kaaba, it is about 30 cm (12 inches) in diameter and surrounded by a silver frame. Hajj pilgrims often attempt to kiss the Stone as Muhammad once did.[8] Because of the large crowds, this is not always possible, and so as pilgrims walk around the Kaaba, they are to point to the Stone on each circuit.[9]

gafes said...

just raving you are.God is one and he is God of every human.but i dont know you know that or not ...

SAVANT said...

That's interesting gafes. How did you find that out? By any chance from a 7th century mass-murdering pedophile?