Monday, 17 May 2010

The pros and cons of a Muslim baby sitter

Now that the Religion of Peace is flooding over the Western World, it’s only a matter of time before you’re faced with the opportunity of using a Muslim baby sitter. This might be a cause for concern, given the ‘Prophet’s’ well-established predilection for childish flesh. I need hardly remind you that one of his numerous wives was only six when they ‘married’.

So would you be running a risk when handing your darlings over to a Muslim baby sitter? Well, there are pros and cons, some good things, some bad. For example, if he’s a devout Muslim he won't curse and swear, and he most certainly won't raid your drinks cabinet. That's good.

However, the Religion of Peace offers him, the devout Muslim, certain, er, flexibility when dealing with children. So if he finds himself getting the hots for your little blue-eyed treasure, he’d probably refer to a renowned spritual leader, such as Ayatollah Khomeini, for guidance.

And again, we find pros and cons.

“A man is prohibited from having intercourse with a girl younger than nine”. Well, that's a relief then. Unless of course your daughter is older than nine. And what happens if the babysitter can't restrain himself and goes the whole way with the under-nine? The spiritual leader again: “other sexual acts such as foreplay, rubbing, kissing and sodomy is (sic) allowed. A man having intercourse with a girl younger than nine years of age has not committed a crime, but only an infraction, if the girl is not permanently damaged.”

Damn! Not so good after all. And what happens if your daughter is in fact ‘permanently damaged? “If the girl, however, is permanently damaged, the man must provide for her all her life.”

Well, that seems fair enough.

But dammit, there’s still another catch. “But this girl will not count as one of the man's four permanent wives. He also is not permitted to marry the girl's sister."

So there you have it. Some pros, some cons. Hard call.

And by the way, Khomeini took his own advice to heart. In his famous Little Green Book, the ‘Bible’ for Shia Muslims, he assures his followers that “it is not illegal for an adult male to 'thigh' or enjoy a young girl who is still in the age of weaning; meaning to place his penis between her thighs, and to kiss her.”
Husayn al-Musawi, a devoted follower of this saintly man, tells us how he demonstrated his love of children as they visited one of his flock in Iran.

"Al-Khomeini laid his eyes on a young girl who, despite being only four or five years of age, was very beautiful. So, the Imam requested from her father, Sayyid Sahib, that he spend the night with her in order to enjoy her. Her father happily agreed, and Imam al-Khomeini spent the night with the girl in his arms, but we could hear her crying and screaming.'’

Which is what I feel like doing when I see these people swarming all over our world.


Anonymous said...

I always thought Sean Connery was a bit conspicuous by his absence in films around the time of Khomeini's rule. He must have kept the robes and ditched the silly hat for 'Name of The Rose'.

sweet pee said...

Don't expect much. She's only a girl after all.

Anonymous said...

Dear Savant,

There's a possibility you might be interested in this article. I found it a pretty funny misrepresentation of hunter-gatherer society.

I thought you might be interested in something else that touches on something you mentioned a few weeks ago.

Anonymous said...

Pulling no punches today Savant, but in the interest of fairness perhaps you should also mention that the Talmud provides similar advice for Jews.

Anonymous said...

I live in the States and you have been "un-googable" for the past 3 days.

Anonymous said...

anon 1.39 - thank you! Yes, the Jewish texts make very ugly reading as well, and have similar references like the Koran to the 'infidel' - i.e the rest of us.

SAVANT said...

anon 1.39. I take your point but while I'm not an expert on any 'sacred' texts, my understanding is that the Talmud says what to do if such a thing happens. It doesn't 'approve' it. Maybe I'm wrong but if you're correct, sure, it deserves pointing out.

George said...

Well, it might not be as bad as a Chinese baby sitter...

Anonymous said...

- This isn't real islam
- Racist!
- religion of peace
- Fascist!
- effects of poverty
- islamophobic!
- blah blah blah

Oh forget it.

causland said...

@ george. Yes, that guy doesnt appear to have a career as a baby sitter, i agree!

Anonymous said...

savant, i beleive the book of kells kept in dublin has similar texts in its reading, one i recall is if paddy punches kevin, kevins tribe has the right to emasulate the said paddy and to seize his livestock and primitive still and ravage all women in said tribe named fiona, bridget, mary nora,also to rape all of paddys sheep. i may be wrong but if its in the book,,,,,,,,, john old retired chicago copper.

F. McCool said...

The book of Kells? Ok, written about the same time as the Koran. But it doesn't claim to be a religious text. or does it.

Anonymous said...


Could you please provide sources/links for the Ayatollah's dictates? I want to be able to reference before I forward 'em around the world!


SAVANT said...

Potgeiter - there are lots of references. Here are just two:

Anonymous said...



Anonymous said...

How can any normal person subscribe to this satanic cult?

Anonymous said...

These regulations apply only to the Shi'ia (heretic) branch, not to 'true' Muslims.

Anonymous said...

They're all fuckin' SCUM.