Wednesday, 26 November 2008

A nation in shock

The nation reeled in shock today at a stunning report in the Irish Independent. Readers stood paralysed, glued to their copy of the newspaper as the amazing story unfolded. ‘I’m absolutely flabbergasted, who’d have thought that Nigerian asylum seekers were dishonest’ gasped Jean Pool, as, shaking, she read once again the following report:

Nigerians Net Millions Through Welfare Fraud

Figures obtained by the Irish Independent last night showed that one Nigerian man and his wife had illegally claimed almost €33,000 a year in social welfare before the racket was discovered.

A Nigerian woman who applied for asylum here in 2003 and was granted refugee status in 2005 and who was subsequently found to have a multi-entry visa for the UK, which she sought while living in Lagos. She had previously claimed in her asylum application that she had been forced to flee from Nigeria. She is still living here in receipt of rent allowance of €1,143 a month and payments of €245.80 weekly.

A Nigerian man who was stopped in Belfast on his way to Dublin, had two Nigerian passports, one which gave him permission to live in Ireland and the other to reside in the UK. He was registered to live here with his Nigerian wife on the basis that they had an Irish-born child but he had also been granted the right to live in the UK on the basis of a marriage to a Portuguese woman. He works in the UK but he and his wife claim social welfare benefits of €32,677.60 a year from the Irish State..

Another Nigerian man was stopped in Belfast while in transit to Birmingham. He had been here to collect his monthly social welfare benefit of €2,240. He is suspected of sub letting a house in Longford and is stated to have left the country in 2005.

€14 million has now been recovered since 2004.

‘I'm stunned’ exclaimed Inspector Robin Banks, ‘we in the police always thought of Nigerians as diligent, honest, hard-working - model citizens.'

‘Dishonest Nigerians, who could have guessed?’ he asked, shaking his head ruefully.

But as the day wore on the mood shifted from shock to outrage in many quarters. ‘This story is clearly a hate crime directed against a weak, vulnerable and marginalised minority, who fled terrible persecution in their home country’ claimed June Flowers, Chairperson of the Irish Refugee Council. ‘We will - funded by the taxpayer of course - fight these scandalous attacks all the way to the European Court if necessary’ she declared.

‘I was never so ashamed of being Irish’ she sobbed, adding ‘we plan to invoke anti-discrimination legislation to ensure that The Independent is closed down immediately, and for good’


Anonymous said...

You had me there for a!!
Thought maybe there is some substance in the Paddy jokes.
Great satire!!

Anonymous said...

My friend, my friend, we in Nigeria need to have many social benefits in mnay countriesbecause we have many families and many children. How else do you expect us to get enough money for Mercedes, work for it?

A man cannot be a Mbanza on just one income!!!

SAVANT said...

Thanks D. and alos our Nigerian friend who's explained the rationale behind all of this.

Anonymous said...

Maybe we should not be so quick to simply lay all the blame on the asylum fraudsters alone! It takes two to tango. And boy there seems to be plenty of money freely flowing around the asylum scam.
For Nigerians it provides them a comfortable escape, away from their own particular brutal kindred, as well as being handed a 95% winning chance in a jackpot for life.
Factually just 5% of the more blatant fraudsters are ever repatriated by our so called liberal authorities. Therefore 95% of all asylum fraudsters get to milk our “free give away programs” funded by befuddled and bewildered Irish Taxpayers.

Such well practiced scammers as Nigerians must surely be tickled pink at the level of crass stupidity they find in their “Irish benefactors”. The Nigerians as colonisers have for many years targeted Ireland as their No 1 global destination. And indeed who could blame them at this stage. Of course for their own part they will ensure in due course that as or new colonisers they will deliver for Dublin and other cities here what they have long inflicted upon their own native Lagos and Abuja. The word hellholes and living nightmares would not even begin to describe them adequately.

No doubt our asylum cash must be some of the softest money available in the world, something which of course would be particularly attractive for such well practiced con-artists as Nigerians i.e.- and without the usual necessity for a gun or machete!
All things considered it’s probably far more rewarding to them than even their usual, but somewhat tarnished, 419 Scams.

But yet surely the real responsibility for this self inflicted disaster must sit fairly and squarely on the shoulders of our own most Pious and sanctimonious political leaders.

For Nigerians to operate this particular scam and milk it dry all that's ever really needed is a primitive-sounding, hard luck story and everything else usually flows from there, like milk and honey. Even their “tallest yarns” can never really be checked!

Travelling the 5,000 Klms or so to claim their bonanza, is compensated for, as the Irish gombeen natives have been conditioned to fawn over them and welcome them as “New Irish”, a professional chorus led and orchestrated by such maniac “half-wits” as –“Kebabs” Lenihan, Philip Watt, Ivana Bacik, and a rather pathetic effeminate old windbag known as Norris.

In return whatever the Nigerian “New Irish” might have a fancy for, such as a house, (fully furnished), free medical care, education for kids, legal aid, special needs monies, home foods, community welfare officer, translations, Cars, mobile Telephones, Satellite TV., remember all are freely available on demand, courtesy of unwitting Irish taxpayers. And by golly do Nigerians demand their “rights”

Eventually the door opens to them upon a more resplendent package of welfare allowances along with their acquisition of Irish passports with few questions asked, easily producing up to @ Euros 3000 per month or so for life.
Why should anybody want to work and pay taxes for a living, when they reach this island of milk and honey? Only 38% of Nigerians even toy with such ideas

By way of insurance should any of the natives who after all are forced to fund this barefaced scam even dare question such " bountiful generosity" at their expense, they can easily be intimidated and dismissed, simply by labelling them "Racists" "Nazis" or "Xenophobes"

How can any sane person at this stage hide from the fact that the lunatics have indeed taken over the running of the asylum (the one we still call Ireland).
Sure you couldn’t even make it up!

Anonymous said...

With each passing day and year in this now defunct Republic understanding of how hitler came to power in Germany becomes more apparent.

Clonycavan said...

'14 Million Euro has been recovered since 2004.'[by operation gull].
What a positive government-serving spin? How much of our money has been handed over?

'No scam neccessary,Sir. It's just part of Ireland's service to people who once lived in the third world. Please take generously. We love paying taxes, and increasing our national debt.'

Thank you, Savant. I thought your article was a spoof, but it's genuine and can be found in yesterday's Independent. I read it with disbelief, and then anger.

Anonymous said...

DE fucking port !!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

These are pretty low level fraudsters. The Nigerians that operate in London are often in gangs netting in excess of £5million (yes that's right, million) per annum. Other nationalities operate scams, but the Nigerians are far and away the best.

kerdasi amaq said...

I suppose not getting €30,000+ on social welfare in Nigeria, counts as persection for our crazed progressive liberals.

Anonymous said...

You can find the Kaplan article by typing Kaplan+The coming anarchy.


SAVANT said...

Jockney - I already posted on the Kaplan article here

It always surpised me that it doesnt feature among the most read posts.

Anonymous said...


sorry, but didn't realise that I probably came across the Kaplan article via your site.


SAVANT said...

No prob jockney - glad to hear it, in fact.

Anonymous said...

This may be satire - but only just. The 'reactions' you 'quote' arent far from what is probably the case.

Mel. T.

Anonymous said...

I thought it was serious as well until I came across Inspector 'Robin Banks'!

SAVANT said...

Just bear in mind that the basic data is true - check the link.

Anonymous said...

Let's hope the recession flush these bastards out.