I'm endlessly fascinated by court reporting in the Irish Times. Although taking itself very seriously the IT is notorious for head-scratching headlines. "Dead Man Hit By Car While Crossing Road" and "Thoughtful Rapist Wore A Condom" are two that spring to mind.
But every day brings new wonders. Take today's story about a man who woke in bed and found himself being raped orally and anally at the same time. Now how the hell could that happen? What sort of a contortionist could manage that? Reminds me of the time George Michael was charged for, in effect, performing a homosexual act on his own. Anyway, if any of you can come up with an explanation of how the anal/oral rapist managed it, I'd love to know.
Then there's the guy who went slashing tires on cars, causing nearly €30,000 worth of damage, as 'a protest against capitalism'. As the baffled judge remarked, it's not at all clear how slashing tires would contribute to the downfall of capitalism. By way of explanation the perp then pointed out that he attacked only those cars registered after 2003. Well, that's ok then. Makes perfect sense.
As they say in Yorkshire, 'there's nowt stranger than folk'.