Have you ever seen a queen termite in its hive? A gigantic shapeless lump, attended to by a swarm of comparatively tiny workers. All she does is eat, shit and make baby termites.
Step right up folks and see the amazing Dominique Lanoise of Miami, FL, the human queen termite. I was passing through the West Wing of Chateau Savant this evening when my eyes fell on the programme Lady Savant was watching. I stopped in mid-stride, transfixed, horrified. But what’s been seen cannot be unseen.
This creature was a mountain of quivering putrid flesh, amounting to 43 stone. The weight of five normal women. Who is she and where did she come from? Well, she says she’s ‘from the islands’. And which islands would they be? Dominique doesn’t seem to know, and appears surprised that she was even asked. (My guess is Haiti, as she has a kind of French accent).She has approximately six daughters but, surprisingly, there’s no sign of the six fathers. How in God’s name were she and her litter allowed into the US? Great decision, whoever made it. Probably another Haitian, employed in the new diverse Immigration Service.
Let’s not be too hard on Dominique, she’s just following the dictates of her Darwinian script and knows nothing else. And so now, presumably at taxpayer expense, she eats, drinks, breeds and defecates, wallowing in the putrescence of her chosen state.
Which brings me to an interesting question. Now those of you of a delicate disposition, and/or recently finished a meal, avert your gaze from what follows. Ok, for the rest of you I’ll get straight to the point. This creature’s arsehole is buried deep in the recesses of the mound she calls a body. Given the mountains of food she eats she must, like the termite queen, produce an almost constant stream of shit. Given that she can’t move an inch - she can just about raise her hands to her gob - where does all this go?
Jesus, what must its bedroom be like?
And now she’s off, courtesy of an all-white white ambulance crew and an all-white medical team to get a horrifically expensive weight-reduction operation. Who picks up the tab?
Such procedures are highly dangerous, the medics tell us. And that, my friends, is the only piece of good news in this whole sorry story.