Well, it’s over, and nothing went wrong. In fact, everything went spectacularly right. HRH was a wow, with no fewer than 95% of respondents in a Sunday Independent poll answering in the affirmative to the question ‘do you think the Queen won the hearts of the Irish people?’
But many of us worried. You see, Paddy has a dreadful habit of snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. Like…. we’d arrange a superb pageant for Her visit to Croke Park, everything planned and rehearsed to the last detail, only to discover that nobody remembered to bring the key to open the place up on the day.
But the Paddy Factor worked in out favour too. A group of worthies from Mayo had the brilliant idea of letting a few dozen duck eggs go bad over a period of about three weeks, at which stage they’d be used to pelt the Royal cavalcade. But a few of them got broken during the bus trip from the bogs of Mayo, letting off such a stench that the cunning ploy was discovered, and the miscreants apprehended.
And our courts and daft judges were always a danger. For instance the cops could have intercepted a couple of well-known IRA nutcases from the North, armed with howitzers and SAMs. Said nutcases would appeal, based on the fact that the cops had their caps on backwards, and filled out the charge sheet in blue, not black ink. At which point the nutcases would be released back into the wild, complete with armaments, by the stupid fucking useless judges.
Thankfully, everything went wonderfully. A pity though that she wasn’t allowed to mingle with the people. Her only chance was in my own Rebel Cork, and she did one thing that amazed me. A stall holder in the market made some humourous comment to her about the pig in the picture. I expected her response to be along the lines of a chilly ‘one is amused’. Instead there was a hearty belly laugh like you’d hear in a pub.
How could we not warm to her?