Monday, 24 January 2011

Collapse update

Many American readers have written in to share their experiences of how bad things are there. Here are some experiences:

I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.

Wives are having sex with their husbands because they can't afford batteries.

CEO's are now playing miniature golf.

A stripper was killed when her audience showered her with rolls of pennies while she danced.

I saw a Mormon with only one wife.

If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.

Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America.

My cousin had an exorcism but couldn't afford to pay for it, and they re-possessed her! (Now that's sad)

A picture is now only worth 200 words.

When Bill and Hillary travel together, they now have to share a room.

Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!

I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Hotline. I got a call center in Pakistan, and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.

Things are sure bad out there.........

7 comments:

Krokodil said...

A number of very funny ones. I especially liked the last two!

Franz said...

I hear black people in the USA are now reduced to collecting wellfare checks and selling drugs for a living.

The horror!

Anonymous said...

Where I am, things are so bad, that even the people who don't pay, aren't buying.

Not as bad as when I was a kid, though.

My brothers, sisters and myself prayed for the folks to give us a puppy for Christmas.

Or, anything with a bit of meat on it, for that matter.

Cheers,

Uncle Nasty

kulak said...

...and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.

Hehehe.

I expect a horrible tragedy soon.

An enterprising youth will disrupt the teleprompter with a laser pointer.


Just imagine the chaos...

Anonymous said...

Just a little something to prove that technology can be amazing.

A 360 degree virtual tour of the cockpit of the Enola Gay

http://www.davidpalermo.com/data/slideshow/4/enolagay/index.html

Enjoy,

Uncle Nasty

Anonymous said...

Just a little something to prove that technology can be amazing.

A 360 degree virtual tour of the cockpit of the Enola Gay

http://www.davidpalermo.com/data/slideshow/4/enolagay/index.html

Enjoy,

But ... while we're at it, what is waiting just around the corner.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WOMGdFjsmBA&feature=related

Do not necessarily enjoy.

Uncle Nasty

Anonymous said...

Maybe Hill's travelling companion is Bi so Lil Jefferson Blyth can share?