Sunday, 7 November 2010

Another dream shattered - but maybe there's hope...

What a splendid idea! And from an African President, no less. I lay back dreamily in my chair and savoured the headline. All my problems answered. Western civilization saved, apart from the Islamic onslaught. Yes, banner text carried the heady message from President Museveni of Uganda. “Africans Must Go To The Moon”

Think of it: Them up there, us down here. Too good to be true, surely?

Alas it was. That’s not what he had in mind at all. Over to the Pres. "The Americans have gone to the moon. And the Russians. The Chinese and Indians will go there soon. Africans are the only ones who are stuck here," Museveni said, addressing a meeting of the Uganda Law Society in Entebbe.
.
"We must also go there and say: 'What are you people doing up here?'."
.
Museveni urged the assembly of Uganda's top lawyers to support East African integration, arguing that one of the region's goals should be to develop a space programme.

"Uganda alone cannot go to the moon. We are too small. But East Africa united can. That is what East African integration is all about. Then we can say to the Americans: 'What are you doing here all alone?'"

A hopeless case? Initially I thought so, but then my spies brought me news of yet another African technical genius, who has…

Well, here’s what the report says: “An innovative Kenyan is just about to test the results of his brainchild. Gabriel Nderitu, an I.T specialist is putting final touches to an aeroplane he has been assembling for the last one year ahead of a test run in Kitengela next week. If indeed Nderitu's two seater plane takes off, and more importantly, lands successfully, then it will be a first for Kenya.”

Indeed. And maybe, just maybe, it might be the beginning of the East African Space Administration (EASA) and a one way ticket to the moon for our dusky friends. The potential for success? Well, check out the inaugural test flight here.

50 comments:

cruft said...

bwahahahahahahah!!!!!!!!!!!!

once more said...

I will soon receive a letter from Gabriel Nderitu's nephew, following the crash of his plane, indicating that Mr. Nderitu, prior to his death, had stashed away millions in The Bank of Nairobi and they simply need me to supply my banking details to transfer it to my account so his family can keep the government of Kenya from stealing it.

Californian said...

OK, we can laugh about East Africans talking about going to the Moon. But at least they are thinking about it. What are Americans and Europeans thinking about these days? The American man space program is long dead. The thing that ought to give us all consideration is why White countries have stopped looking to the starts.

Anonymous said...

"oncemoresaid" Hilarious!



mike4819

Magnum said...

After musing over the wise words of the mentioned African President, I have come to the conclusion that the whole going to the moon thing is racist. The white people went to the moon just to make fun of the poor blacks who couldn’t get there ‘cause of that racist gravity holding them down. I propose that all nations who are planning to go to the moon in the next decade or so, abandon their projects and pool all their money into African project, so that our black brothers can finally go to the moon. Actually, the moon is the last testament to the horrible racism that has plagued our world for thousands of years; the white people are the only ones up there so the moon isn’t really multicultural and liberal. Also, it’s completely white. I mean, what other evidence do you need of its racism?

Yeah. Or something like that.

Hector said...

"The thing that ought to give us all consideration is why White countries have stopped looking to the stars."

Because we're too busy apologising for our sins.

Hector said...

"The thing that ought to give us all consideration is why White countries have stopped looking to the stars."

Because we're too busy apologising for our sins.

surfer said...

Recently as British journalist received an email abeled Strictly Confidential from Dr. Bakare Tunde, "who said he was astronautics project manager at Nigeria’s space agency. He also told me he was the cousin of the first African in space, Air Force Major Abacha Tunde, and that this poor intrepid astronaut had been stranded on a secret Soviet military station ever since the Soviet Union dissolved in 1990.

“He is in good humor,” read the email, “but wants to come home.” No wonder he was keen to hurtle back earthwards, Tunde told me his cousin had accumulated almost $15 million in pay. For the price of my bank account details, I could claim 20 percent and fly the brave chap home to collect my portion of the earnings and transfer the rest on to him like the good space-supporter that I was."

So maybe things are happening all right! You sneer too soon.

Anonymous said...

Put a jigaboo on the moon? I don't know about that. They'll just steal the hubcaps off the Lunar Rover

Fire them all into the sun, however?

I'll definitely chip in a few bucks there. Anything to contribute to global cooling.

Cheers,

Uncle Nasty

Anonymous said...

Hector said...

"The thing that ought to give us all consideration is why White countries have stopped looking to the stars."

Could it be the trillions stolen by the bankers and the israelites have left everyone shell-shocked?

Could it be because every spare remaining penny is given to smug self-righteous prats like Bono, Sting and Geldof to distribute to corrupt black dictators?

Or ... could it perhaps be that it is best to keep everyone in poverty, uncertainty and terror -- or else they might start actually thinking about who to blame?

Uncle Nasty

Anonymous said...

The moon is racist!!

Anonymous said...

For British and Irish readers,Channel 4,Friday 12th.7.30pm

"A spell behind bars"
Nearly half of the Central African Republics convicted prisoners are witches.this documentary is about them.
The programme blurb recounts how a prison GOVERNER tells of prisoners turning themselves into rats or snakes in order to escape.

A must see,I'd imagine.

beppo said...

I notice that this aviator is an I.T.specialist like Savant...surely some support both moral and financial should be forthcoming to a fellow professional.

Anonymous said...

Has this guy even heard of Bernoulli?
Sure doesn't look like it.

Krokodil said...

Slightly odd thought, but maybe worth some speculation: do you think just maybe one of the reasons the Muslim world is so anti-American is because the moon and all things lunar figure so prominently in Islamic religious symbolism?

From what I can gather, Allah was originally the moon god; that is to say, just one of many pre-Islamic pagan Arab idols.

Now, I'm well aware that what I'm (very tentatively) suggesting might sound thoroughly daft but, all said and done, only our Yankee cousins have actually walked on the moon (quackish conspiracy theories notwithstanding).

Probably rubbish, but just a thought.

Anonymous said...

I thought Mohammed (peace be upon him) had walked on the moon as well?

Or was that the sun?

George said...

Savant, I fear Mr. Museveni is behind the times. Black space flight already has a long and storied history. Behold:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6H8TJv0C58Q

Anonymous said...

Wantched the video and couldn't help but feel something's not quite Wright with that plane.

Seriously though, fair play to him-tinkering around in his yard putting the thing together. He comes across as a nice, decent man-yes he's African, but the thing is, he's in Africa, where he belongs and more power to him there.

Nothing against Africans, as long as they stay in Africa.

Motoboy said...

anon 22.47. My views exactly. Give the guy credit, he went out and did something for himself rather than whinging for whitey to do it to make up for the sins of colonialism.

I've lived in Africa and I know some fine Africans (not many, but some). And yes, the place for them is Africa, not the west.

Anonymous said...

George - this is amazing. I never realized that blacks had been first on the moon. But the video is PROOF!

kulak said...

Hector said: The thing that ought to give us all consideration is why White countries have stopped looking to the stars.

But I think the answer's a lot simpler than UN's.

Cosmopolitan neocons co-opted science fiction, too.

Take for example, the Man-Kzin wars, set in Larry Niven's universe, a series once near and dear to me.

The last installment I read, Destiny's Forge, was by one Paul Chafe, who writes of himself: "I was born in Toronto and grew up various places in southern Ontario in a typical middle class urban North America setting that was as alien to [my parents] as it was to me."

Naturally his book features black male - white female interracial sex, and graphic descriptions of kzin sex. The latter are silly if you look at them one way, but promotion of bestiality if the reader identifies with the kzin.

He violated Niven's rule. The thing about aliens is, they're alien.

It's actually getting hard to find new scifi that isn't neocon in the obviously self-contradictory way: In the future, there will still be distinct races, but race doesn't matter.

Oh, that and there will still be Jews. Thousands of years in the future? Still Jews.

My new rule of thumb: If a sci fi book I pick up mentions Jews in the first 50 pages, I demand my money back.

Robert said...

Moon landing hoax or fact?

Anonymous said...

You'll be getting a lotta greenbacks back kulak!

kulak said...

I will! Won't be worth anything, but never mind.

Worse is that half of the scifi in my library I can't stand anymore. Pick up a book I read 15 or 20 years ago, good chance I'll just burn it now. Can't even donate it to the library in good conscience.

Magnum said...

Kulak, have you ever read something from the Warhammer 40k universe? There are no Jews (lol), only thousands of zealous, pissed off Space Marines determined to cleanse anything that isn't human. Although the setting is from the tabletop game, some of the books are awesome and can get pretty hardcore.

rebelliousvanilla said...

Savant, white men can't jump though. Africans will just leap on the moon. :P

Because they sure as hell can't build space shuttles.

kulak said...

@Magnum

I have not. I like Glen Cook and David Drake tho'.

The next book on my list is The Saga of Hugh Glass.

nemesis said...

Would I be correct in assuming you don't like Amos Oz kulak????

kulak said...

@Nemesis

Nevah hoid a him.

kulak said...

But now that I've looked up the shirker of physical labor whose mom committed suicide and whose son is/was asthmatic, I'm reminded of the immortal Fred Sanford's take on Fiddler on the Roof.

Fred: "It's about a milkman, with some ugly daughters, who complains a lot about God. Got nothin' to do with me."

Lamont: "It's about a lot more than that pops. It was on broadway for 12 weeks. What do you think that means?"

Fred: "Means there's a whole lotta Jews in New York City."

Anonymous said...

This is old news. I remember back in the sixties in Kenya they were training astronauts. THe method of training for G forces was novel to say the least. It involved popping a willing Kenyan into a barrel and rolling them down hills. Never got anywhere though.

RegThe Hedge said...

I'd just like to say that a search for Irish savant on the non google search engine www.altavista.com comes up with our very own Mr Savant first place as should be the case.

I have been using altavista since the early days of the internet. I suggest people stop using opinionated google and start using the non opinionated altavista or some other search engine.

When a search engine starts filtering what you get I think it's time to move on, after all it is only a search engine. The bloody cheek of them.

Magnum said...

Kulak, I don’t know which kind of stories you enjoy, but if you like sci-fi I strongly recommend anything by Dan Abnett (mostly Warhammer 40k novels like Gaunt’s Ghosts, Eisenhorn and especially Horus Rising) or Northwest Smith yarns by CL Moore. Also, it seems that The First Heretic by Aaron-Dembski-Bowden just became a New York Times bestseller so you might want to try that as well.

SAVANT said...

That's interesting Reg. On Google this site won't appear at all, only indorectly. Pity AV is so little used.

kulak said...

@Magnum

I've seen 'em in the store, never had an interest. Maybe I'll try one for the blood and guts, but here's what first occurred to me after reading the Wiki entries:

1) People of Celtic descent like myself naturally tend to think more in terms of threes, not dualities or quartets, as in Wicca -- which is NOT Celtic.

2) Heresy is what inevitably happens when someone gets their morality from a book, rather than an innate sense consistent with a time, a place, a community, a family.

Such people just one day decide the same words mean something different. Their faith is in words, and so their word can never be trusted.

Anonymous said...

Kulak raises a very interesting point here. I'm an old Sci-Fi freak. In fact the very first adult book I read was given to me by my Dad. It was an Ace double novel with a story called "The Dreaming Jewels" on one side and I forget what was on the other.

you don't get Sci-Fi any more. It will not be published. All you get nowadays is what I call 3f ... faggotised feminist fantasy; usually with a female hero -- a strong Womyn type running the show with a collection of misfits trailing behind, on some sort of magical quest. Some wastrel by the name of Terry Brooks being the most egregious practitioner.

Rather like Lord of the Rings, but without the class -- or the commitment.

However I thought the work being done by an internet friend was pretty damn good, and asked him whether he sought publication. His answer? forget it. Sci-Fi as we know it is actively discouraged by publishing houses. They'll only accept triple-f crap.

Real Sci-Fi asks embarrassing questions, and we can't have that, can we?

I write (bad) Sci-Fi -- never published and never will be -- and correspond with other wannabe authors across the net. Interestingly enough, they are all right-wingers and all agree that there is no publisher who will look at a Sci-Fi writer in the old sense. Too libertarian perhaps? Interestingly, Robert Heinlein was quite a lefty, early in his career -- rather like George Orwell -- but, like orwell, he saw the light, I think.

So, don't throw out your old Jack Vance novels just yet. There is nothing to replace them.

Jack Vance, born 1916, amazingly enough, is still alive.

Cheers,

Uncle Nasty

Anonymous said...

As far as search engine are concerned ... try Searchy. I've used it for years, literally.

http://searchy.com/

It searches using up to seven search engines -- unfortunately Scroogle among them.

Cheers,

Uncle Nasty

Anonymous said...

here's something for you.

I did a searchy search asking for "best search engines NOT google"

And here's what I got:-

http://www.wired.com/epicenter/2009/06/coolsearchengines/

Enjoy, and hopefully one day we'll be able to take turns pissing into google's eye socket.

Cheers,

Uncle Nasty

Anonymous said...

Me again. Like the kenyan in the barrel, I'm on a roll, today.

Another flight story -- of a different kind ... Stolen from

"The TSA chose Meg McLain for special screening.

They wanted her to go through the new porno-scanners. When she opted out, TSA (Transportation Security Administration of the Department of Homeland Security, US federal government) agents raised an enormous ruckus. When she asked some question about what they planned to do to her, they flipped out. TSA agents yelled at her, handcuffed her to a chair, ripped up her ticket, called in 12 local Miami cops and finally escorted her out of the airport. Listen to her story as she told it on radio show Free Talk Live last night. Things are truly getting scary.

For best results, listen to the audio on YouTube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sJGvsAgpfig

When the revolution comes -- when, not if -- it's going to be bloody.

And the TSA staff, are, I understand, all muds of one species or another.

Just imagine a half-dozen fuming air travellers deciding they've had enough, freaking out and kicking seven shades out of the TSA negroids.

I'll buy a ticket to that.

Cheers,

Uncle Nasty

Anonymous said...

Sorry, forget the URL. Getting old.

http://wewontfly.com/question-tsa-risk

Cheers,

UN

Anonymous said...

Your of Celtic descent kulak? Had assumed with that name you were of Slavic origin?

Olda

Anonymous said...

Just tried coolsearcher Uncle Nasty. Indeed, very good. Thank you.

Olda

Anonymous said...

the Dune Saga, by Frank Herbert. Nearly 50 years old but still the best sci-fi I ever read.

kulak said...

@Olda

I'm a mutt. Primarily Irish, descendent of potato Holocaust survivors. I have ancestors who died in barfights.

I also have large doses of Norwegian and Czech in me, and a tiny bit of Cherokee.

I picked 'kulak' after this article.

Rob said...

Uncle Nasty, it's ironic that the greatest SF writer of the old school was H G Wells - probably the most pernicious lefty England ever produced. According to the Dictionary of National Biography, some screed he wrote became the inspiration for the UN Declaration of Human Rights. Funnily enough, his fiction is full of disparaging references to non-whites.

Anonymous said...

I do realise that the thread has wandered a bit, so at the risk of dragging us further off the path, I have to include this:

Go here:-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BCA15rrleB0&feature=player_embedded

Fall of America: Doug Casey on the Largest Criminal Entity on Earth

Once again, please forgive the loooong URL, but TinyURL is not working for me.

Cheers,

Uncle Nasty

Master of Cohesion said...

Listen.

The only reason why Africa didn't dominate the moon, Jupiter, and Earth, is because of white scoundrel like yourself.

Come to the light - vote Labou-SNIP

once more said...

Yet again kulak you've hit the nail on the head.

Anonymous said...

Put a jigaboo on the moon? I don't know about that. They'll just steal the hubcaps off the Lunar Rover

youtube had a video of why South Arica had not got a space programme. This was the reason.

If you find the Negro Aeronautical something somethin' A that turns into NASSA which is in the style of a Ken Burns documentary you will find it.

white shark said...

Yes, this is the Ken Burns (not) NASSA film - which some people think is true!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PX_687HwX9c