It seems we have to address another racial Achievement Gap, this time, surprisingly on the physical side. It appears, if we’re to believe MSNBC (and we do believe all they say, don't we?) that blacks are drowning at a three time the rates of whites.
“Nearly 60 percent of African-American children cannot swim, almost twice the figure for white children, according to a first-of-its-kind survey which USA Swimming hopes will strengthen its efforts to lower minority drowning rates and draw more blacks into the sport. Stark statistics underlie the initiative by the national governing body for swimming. Black children drown at a rate almost three times the overall rate.”
It seems this is the corollary of ‘white men can't jump’. But why? Some scientific types put it down to lower lung spirometry (whatever that is) and denser bone mass. But some less orthodox answers have also been adduced. One shocking example comes from Wiki answers, of all places. This suggests that “Black people can't swim because they are closely related to monkeys and monkeys can't swim either.”
Dreadful! Where are the Google thought police when you need them?
My own idea, for what it’s worth, is that, in almost every other instance where blacks are in extremis (floods, poverty, earthquakes, famine) they can rely on whitey to rescue them. But drowning doesn’t lend itself to this. It happens just too fast. (Or not fast enough, if you’ve got an evil mindset).
But the main issue is this: how do we bridge this particular Achievement Gap? Again, I've allocated an immense proportion of my valuable time in contemplation, and the only solution I can come up with is to drown the required number of whites on a suitable ceremonial occasion once a year. MLK Day sounds just right.
How do we select the white victims? Well, it seems obvious that they should be paid up members of the Victim Industry. I'm sure they’d see it as a privilege (tee hee - another instance of white privilege). Wouldn’t it be lovely to see 10% of the $PLC go under the waves annually?