Whatever you say about the military, anyone who joins doesn’t do so for the money. For example a Brigadier General in the British Army earns less than £100,000 a year, about the same as a general in the US army.
However, a reward for bravery can supplement these earnings. The Victoria Cross is the highest possible decoration in the British Army. To earn this you have to do something really exceptional, like storm an enemy machine gun nest, have all four limbs blown off in the process, and bite the gunners to death when you get there. For such efforts you’ll be awarded £1500 a year extra.
However, with a bit of ingenuity you can blow such miserly figures away while (not) fighting for your country. Based on latest research I've drawn up a Ten Point Plan to show you how.
1: Become black (this can be difficult, but as you’ll see, it’s well worth it)
2: Become a woman (not anything as difficult as it used to be)
3: Get knocked up (really easy, no need to identify the father, even if you can)
4: Demand special arrangements for looking after your sprog
5: Refuse as inadequate all special arrangements duly offered
6: Go AWOL
7: Eventually just walk out of the service
8: Scream racial and gender discrimination
9: Sue the army on these grounds
10: Walk away with a minimum of £100,000 – tax free
Impossible you say?
Sir, I give you the magnificently named Tilern DeBique, who has done precisely that, and I applaud her for landing this blow for ethnic and womens’ rights. But typically, rather than joining with me, we have a couple of negative begrudgers crawling out from under their stones.
Judith Webb, the highest ranked woman officer ever, snorts “The British Army is admired throughout the world for its toughness, efficiency and cohesion - but these high standards are increasingly under threat from the dogma of political correctness.
With their shrill, ideological certitude, the officials of the modern British state are now imposing on the armed services those fashionable nostrums about workplace rights that are entirely inappropriate for fighting units. The case of single mother Tilern DeBique brilliantly symbolises the politicised ignorance of the realities of military life and operational requirements. “
And good old Ann Widdecombe also, er, ‘weighs’ in with this: “The idea that someone can sue for sex discrimination is simply ludicrous. As for a £100,000 payout, that is just turning a grievance into a lottery win.”
What negativity and begrudgery. Sad.