Sunday, 8 November 2009
Fort Hood: I help the C-in-C
“Don't jump to conclusions” warned the Commander-in-Chief sternly, “we don't want to prejudge motivation here”. (I'm sure Sgt. James Crowley wished the C-in-C had taken his own advice before instantly jumping in to declare Henry Gates a ‘victim of racism’. But as Ronald Reagan used to say, 'let’s not talk about that’.)
However, we all understand the coded statement here, don't we? We’ve seen it a thousand times. When a victim, by which I mean a non-white non-Christian, does something awful, we must emphasise that his deed had nothing to do with his race or religion.
Still, being a sympathetic guy, and knowing that Barak has a lot on his plate, I decided to help him out. And I think I can!!
Here’s my analysis and the conclusions drawn. And if I say so, they’re absolutely brilliant. I've not only solved the problem for Barak, but drawn up some recommendations which would mitigate the risk of future occurrences!
Now pay close attention please, as this gets quite complex. I've extensively reviewed the evidence and it shows that Hasan proselytized for Islam , got angry and violent when people wouldn’t worship Allah, didn’t want to shoot at "fellow Muslims", was a member of a notoriously violent mosque in DC, and screamed 'Allah akbar' as he murdered infidels on that Thursday.
Conclusion: My considered conclusion from this is as follows: he was a Muslim extremist who saw himself doing his job by killing infidels and especially US soldiers.
There you are now Barak, that's just saved you a lot of effort. And I'm not finished! As an esteemed international consultant I'm now going to provide you with a few valuable recommendations as well – all entirely free to you!
Recommendation 1: If an army Captain tells a group of fellow officers in ‘an anti-American rant’ that “if you don't believe you are condemned to hell, your head is cut off, burning oil is burned (sic) down your throat” you don't promote him to Major. But that's what happened with Hassan last year, Barak.
I think you’ll accept this recommendation, but I don’t think you’ll take up the next ones. which is a pity, because they’d save you – and all the rest of us - a lot of trouble in the long run.
Recommendation 2: Within a reasonable timeframe, say end of next March, burn every major proponent of multiculti peecee bullshit at the stake. This recommendation may seem robust, but it is necessary. It derives from the following report from Yahoo News: ”His fellow students complained to the faculty about Hasan's "anti-American propaganda," but said a fear of appearing discriminatory against a Muslim student kept officers from filing a formal complaint.”
Recommendation 3: Pull out of Afghanistan now: This unwinnable war is bleeding America dry in terms of manpower and treasure and every day brings news of further disasters. It’s also driving Muslims demented all over around the world, including in the US, fuelling the very aggression you’re trying to ameliorate.
Recommendation 4: This follows from the last – stop Muslim immigration and sent back any Muslim not absolutely entitled to be in the US.
The latter two recommendations would mean that you wouldn’t have to fight them either at home or abroad. It’s what’s known as a win-win Barak. But you won't do that, though, will you? Too many vested interests to contend with. I understand. Which leads to the last point:
Barak, really, at this sensitive time, did you really have to propose a lobbyist (you know, the people you said you wouldn’t let near your government?) named Islam Siddiqui as your chief international agricultural negotiator? That smacks as being either extreme carelessness or extreme arrogance.
In either case, not good.
I'm worried for you Barak.