A few samples:
“That’s one of the most pretentious, silly, gut-churningly atrocious poems I’ve ever had the misfortune of reading. I can just picture him reading it too, reeking of self-importance. It’s almost as bad as that Beckett pastiche he performed a few years ago, which was also so bad it was unintentional comedy gold.”
“Leather trousered bollocks in daft shades just spouting words that don't actually mean a fucking thing.”
That’s nasty too. But the worst came from Christopher Hart of The Mail Online, who responded to the news with his own poem about Bono:
'Bono in your sunglasses, even when it rains,
Bono in your private jet while the rest of us take trains,
Bono with your tax affairs safely overseas,
Bono, will you fucking shut up, please.'
Actually, for me, except for the first and last lines (and the bits in between) it's great. Here I bring you some of the most impressive excerpts (the whole thing goes on for about 20 minutes). The fact that it’s all written in lower case has lead some commentators to theorise that he wrote it on his mobile phones. But they’re just philistines
elvis son of tupelo.
elvis mama's boy.
elvis the twin brother of Jesse who died at birth and was buried in a shoe box.
elvis drove a truck.
elvis was recorded at sun studios by the musical diviner sam phillips.
elvis was managed by colonel tom parker, an ex-carnie barker whose last act was a singing
elvis lived on his own street.
elvis wore a cape at the white house when he was presenting nixon with two silver pistols.
elvis was a member of the drug squad.
elvis wore eye make up, just hangin' out.
elvis wore a gold nudie suit and trained his lip to curl.
elvis was macho, but could sing like a girl.
Sheer genius, what we’ve all come to expect by now from