Monday, 9 March 2009

Another blonde joke


A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and stops to entertain at a bar in a small town. He's going through his usual run of silly blonde jokes when a buxom blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and says, "OK jerk, I've heard just about enough of your denigrating blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What do a person's physical attributes have to do with their worth as a human being?
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It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in my community, of reaching my full potential as a person ... because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes but women at large ... all in the name of humor."
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Flustered, the ventriloquist begins to apologize, when the blonde pipes up, "You stay out of this mister, I'm talking to that little fucker on your knee!"
PS - some more great ones in the Comments to this post

9 comments:

Rohan Swee said...

I guess it's your vicious anti-blondism that has earned you that Blogger "objectionable content" award I just ran into.

Anonymous said...

A blonde at a party was telling her friend that she was off men for life. "They lie, they cheat and they're just no good. From now on when I want sex, I'm going to use my vibrator"
"So, what when the batteries run out?" asked her friend
"I'll just fake an orgasm like always."

Anonymous said...

A young man wanted to get his beautiful blonde wife something nice for their first wedding anniversary. So he decides to buy her a mobile phone. She is all excited, she loves her phone. He shows her and explains to her all the features on the phone.
The next day the blonde goes shopping. Her phone rings and it's her husband, "Hi hun," he says "how do you like your new phone?"
She replies "I just love it, it's so small and your voice is clear as a bell but there's one thing I don't understand though."
"What's that, baby?" asks the husband.
"How did you know I was at Sainsburys?"

Anonymous said...

There was a blonde and a brunette in an elevator. On their way down, they stop to pick up another person also on their way down. When the person got on, the girls noticed that he was pretty cute. Unfortunately he had dandruff. Finally, on the way off of the elevator the two girls let the guy go ahead of them. The brunette turns to the blonde and says "Oh my god! We need to give him Head and Shoulders." The blonde then replies "That's a pretty good idea, but how are we going to give him shoulders?"

Anonymous said...

Two blondes were walking down the road and the first blonde said "Look at that dog with one eye!"
The other blonde covers one of her eyes and goes, "Where?"

Anonymous said...

One day a blonde went to a sea food restaurant and saw the tank where they kept the lobsters. She took pity on these creatures and hid them in her handbag. Later she went to the woods to set the poor animals free.

Anonymous said...

A surgeon went to check on his blonde patient after an operation.
She was awake, so he examined her.
"You'll be fine," he said.
She asked, "How long will it be before I am able to have a normal sex life again doctor?"
The surgeon seemed to pause, which alarmed the girl.
"What's the matter Doctor? I will be all right, won't I?"
He replied, "Yes, you'll be fine. It's just that no one has ever asked me that after having their tonsils out."

Anonymous said...

A young man was trying to explain the mysteries of horse racing to a blonde woman.
He said, "If you back a horse for five pounds at five to one, you win twenty five pounds. If you back it at ten to one, you get fifty pounds. And if you back it at twenty to one, you get one hundred pounds."
She answered politely, "And what happens if I back it at exactly one o'clock?"

Anonymous said...

A very well-built young blonde was lying on her psychiatrist's couch, telling him how frustrated she was. "I tried to be an actress and failed," she complained. "I tried to be a secretary and failed; I tried being a writer and failed; then I tried being a sales clerk and I failed at that, too."
The shrink thought for a moment and said... "Everyone needs to live a full, satisfying life. Why don't you try nursing?"
The girl thinks about this, then bares one of her large, beautiful breasts, points it at the shrink, and says... "Well go ahead, I'll give it a try!"