Monday, 16 February 2009

Marriage


10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Very good!!!

Anonymous said...

violent, aggressive and bloody-minded Fascist adversary ? cmon savant , this was the british empire we are talking about !! not the von trapp family !!

As caligula said to his uncle tiberius ,

Find a dog who'll eat a dog !!

Anonymous said...

you really are one funny dude with a great sense of humor savant........good stuff

Anonymous said...

A man comes home from a tough day of work looking to unwind. After a relaxing dinner with his wife, they retired to bed. So, both go to their separate beds, however the man was not yet ready to slumber. The man called over to his wife, "My little boopey-boo, I'm lonely."
So the woman gets out of bed and crosses her room to the husband. On the way she trips on the carpet and falls on her face. The husband with a concerned look on his face says, "Oh, did my little honey-woney fall on her little nosey- wosey?"
The woman gets up and enters the man's bed. The two have passionate sex and afterwards the women rolls out. As she is returning to her bed, she once again catches her foot on the carpet and falls flat on her face.
The man looks over his shoulder at his wife lying on the floor and says, "Clumsy bitch."

Anonymous said...

Two buddies were sharing drinks, while discussing their wives.
"Does your wife ever do it doggie style?" asked the one.
"Well, no, not exactly. She's more into the 'trick dog' aspect of it," his buddy replied.
"Oh, I see! Man! Kinky, huh!?"
"Well, no, not at all. You see, it's like this... I sit up 'n' beg, then she rolls over and 'plays dead'."

Anonymous said...

A guy was invited to some old friends' home for dinner. His buddy preceded every request to his wife by endearing terms, calling her Honey, My Love, Darling, Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc.
He was impressed since the couple had been married almost 70 years. While the wife was off in the kitchen, the guy said to his buddy, "I think it's wonderful that after all the years you've been married, you still call your wife those pet names."
His buddy hung his head. "To tell you the truth, I forgot her name about ten years ago."

Anonymous said...

Her husband has been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet the dedicated wife stayed by his bedside every single day.
When the husband finally came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As the wife sat by him, he said, "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me."
The husband continued, "When my business fell, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side. When I think about it now, I think you bring me bad luck. Why don’t you fuck off."

Anonymous said...

A man and his wife went to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw me in front of you naked, what was going through your mind?" The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was fuck your brains out, and suck your tits dry." Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "and what are you thinking now?" The husband replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job."

Anonymous said...

A Young Chinese couple got married. The new bride of course is still a virgin.
On the wedding night, she cowers naked under the bed sheets as her husband undresses. He climbs in next to her and tries to be reassuring: "My darring, I know dis you firs time and you flighten. I plomise you, I give you anyting you want, I do anyting you want. What you want?"
"I wanna numma 69" she replies.
He looks at her very puzzled, "You wanna beef wit broccorri?"

Anonymous said...

Warning: Politically incorrect American Joke Ahead.




Two fags are walking along a beach one evening. One of them stumps his foot on something, and it hurts badly. He cries out, and looks back in the sand to see what it was. He sees a lamp of some kind sticking out of the sand, ever so slightly. The two queers get on their hands and knees and dig it up out of the sand and see that its a genie's lantern.

A genie pops out, and tells them that since they woke him up and disturbed him, they only will get one wish.

The two queers cant make up their mind and discuss a dozen of possibilities in the next few minutes. The genie, getting tired of these two butthole buccaneers prattling on and on, addresses the taller of the two: "look, when you two are in agreemant about what you want, just wish for it in your mind, and your wish will come true before the sun rises on you the next day". The pair readily agree to this and deeply rebury the genie at his request.


The twosome go home and after an hour of some very spirited sex, go to bed. They are awakened about an hour later though, they hear noises in the night about their beach-house. Ghosts or apparitions in sheets break in their beachhouse and begin to beat the queers relentlessly and they take them outside to a tree. It turns out the ghosts aren't real, but are men in sheets. They are Ku Klux Klansmen and they had the two gayboys lined up under a limb of the tree, and one of them was formulating a rope, and the nooses soon appeared before their faces, their hands and feet were by then, bound.

One queer said to the other, "You know, now would be a good time to use our wish!", but the other one said, "Uh-oh, I think I already did". The questioner then asked excitedly "Well, what in the hell did you wish for", the other queer replied, "I wished that we were hung like niggers".