Tuesday, 1 July 2008

Male/femal decoder

DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:

40-ish........................................49.
Adventurous............................ .Slept with everyone.
Athletic.. ...................................No breasts.
Beautiful....................................Pathological liar.
Emotionally Secure................... On medication.
Feminist.....................................Fat.
Free Spirit..................................Junkie.
Friendship first.! ........................Former Slut.
New-Age....................................Body hair in the wrong places.
Open-minded..............................Desperate
Outgoing.....................................Loud and embarrassing.
Profes sional...............................Bitch.
Voluptuous................................. Fat.
Wants soul mate.........................Stalker.

DICTIONARY FOR DECODING WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

Yes..................................... ..........No
No..................................................Yes
Maybe............................................No
We need........................................I want
I am sorry.....................................You'll be sorry
We need t o talk............................You're in trouble
Sure, go ahead..............................You better not
Do what you want.......! ....... ... .....You will pay for this later
I am not upset..... ..........................Of course, I am upset, you moron!
You're attentive tonight............ .....Is sex all you ever think about?

DICTIONARY FOR DECODING MEN'S ENGLISH:

I am hungry....................................I am hungry
I am sleepy.....................................I am sleepy
I am tired.......................................I am tired
Nice dress......................................Nice cleavage
I love you......................................Let's have sex now
I am bored.............................. .....Do you want to have sex?
May I have this dance?...............I'd like to have sex with you.
Can I call you sometime?............I'd like to have sex with you.
Do you want to go to a movie?... ...I'd like to have sex with you.
Can I take you out to dinner?......I'd like to have sex with you.
I don't think those shoes go with that outfit...........I'm gay

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