Church defends revenue base

Ireland’s Primate (I thought a primate was a large ape?) Archbishop Sean Brady is not happy, as he sees the New Ireland erode his revenue base. Fighting for market share, he derides horoscopes, tarot cards, astrology, palm reading as the ‘new Irish superstitions’.

Presumably to distinguish them from the old Irish superstitions, like Sean’s brand. In the old superstition we believed that a man was born without a human father, that this man went on to raise the dead, walk on water, turn water into wine, rose from the dead himself, and then ascended bodily into heaven to meet his Godly father – er, who also happens to be himself. I can understand why this makes perfect sense to you, Sean.

And apparently, numerous public opinion polls to the contrary, we’re not really happy. We just think we are, like. What we need to make us happy is to have the Church back in control, raping children and fleecing an ignorant populace.

Well Sean, old hand, I got bad news for you. As Ireland’s educational levels continue to soar, your revenue base will continue to decline. Because, like a vampire recoils before the dawn, religion recoils before knowledge and reason.

You’re doomed – my tarot reader told me.

(See also Savant's interview with Cardinal Connell here. )