Thursday, 8 March 2007

Illegal immigration solved!

We all thought the Blair government was useless, but in a stroke they’ve solved the problem of the 750,000 illegal immigrants. Your Savant would strongly approve, but the brutality of the measures makes Mick McDowell seem like Mother Theresa. So now you have Ojamo Okinabwo driving happily in his stolen car, with a fine stash of heroin under the back seat. Life seems good – but then Big Brother strikes! Without warning he gets a text message. With no attempt to soften the blow it says ‘PLEASE TAKE STEPS TO LEAVE THE UK’ Can you just imagine the shock this would cause poor Ojamo? But it gets worse!

The press handout goes on to say ‘those who do not comply could be sent reminders’. Oh my God, have these guys any heart? What fiendish minds thought this up? Just when Ojamo, now in a state of total shock, feels it can't get any worse, comes the clincher. His driving license could be cancelled if he doesn’t comply! I admit that the thought of driving with an out-of-date license would immediately compel every Nigerian, Somali or Afghan to wearily give himself up. Ok, but who wants to live in a country like that? Like Albania under Hoxha, that's what it is.


wavy grave said...

I agree. this is too tough. when the immigtrants get these messages the airports will be swamped with them 'taking steps' to leave

wolf dog said...

I saw a stampede of terrified Nigerians heading towards Dover. Apparently they'd all got those shocking text messages.