Tuesday, 20 March 2007

Death to the Kulaks

I'm sure all my avid readers have by now determined that your Savant is - if I may say so - tolerant, fair-minded, generous of spirit, gentle of mind. But such sterling qualities collapse in the face of one egregious group – the fucking farmers! I don’t think it unfair to classify them as grasping, ungrateful, whingeing, narrow-minded, mean-spirited, tax-dodging, bitter, incompetent, blood-sucking parasites.

Not content with fleecing honest citizens for every grant and support imaginable, as the Revenue Commissioners quarterly list shows, time after time, the leeches proudly top the pantheon of tax defaulters. Fully 75% of their income comes by way of transfers from the honest productive section of the population. In other words, the income generated by their own incompetent hands is trebled by the rest of us.

And are they appreciative? Like fuck they are. Instead of doffing their grimy hats to us in supplication, they plunge their greedy paws into our pockets at every opportunity with a sense of absolute entitlement. They pollute our lands and waterways, and in their latest money-making wheeze have taken to blocking off access to traditional hiking paths. The fact that they’d all be on the side of the road if they had to rely on their own meager abilities is totally ignored. I see they're now objecting to unannounced visits by EU inspectors. And they're dead right. How can a busy farmer (busy filling out grant applications) get the time to empty his slurry into a stream, or remove illegally imported stock from his land if he doesn’t have notice of an inspection? And just watch - they’ll get away with this too, as they get away with everything.

I got a great idea. Why not send them to the slaughter-house instead of the livestock? Think of what we’d gain. Save billions in wasted grants, clean countryside, 90% of the country’s whingeing begrudgers eliminated, with some of the saved tax revenues diverted to, well, for example, Savant’s technology research projects. Are you with me?

2 comments:

Donie from Cork said...

Where would we be without the farmers?

Jacky Preson said...

I love it! Can i be the first in the firing squad?