Wednesday, 21 March 2007

Bushes to split?

As you will be aware from earlier posts, your Savant has informants strategically placed it the heart of the Bush regime’s HQ. I now bring you the gratifying news that the marriage of the Gruesome Twosome is hitting the rocks. First Laura thinks that Flightsuit Boy is making it increasingly clear that he’s having the leg over Condi Rice. I've had my doubts about this, mainly because I felt she was a dyke. My source assures me I'm wrong – and she famously did refer to him once as ‘my husband’.

Then, because he evinced little concern over her recent skin cancer scare Laura has deduced that Bush is ‘callous’. He ‘lacks compassion’. She’s not very quick on the uptake, is she? This is the man who as Governor of Texas cheerfully sent scores of poor people to their deaths, and even joked on TV about one particular woman he had ordered killed. Even now he’s subjecting thousands of soldiers to death and maiming in Iraq rather than admit he was wrong and bringing them home.

But the main problem appears to be the El Presidente seems to have fallen off the wagon and is back on the sauce. An obnoxious pig at the best of times, he’s totally insufferable when drunk. After one particularly serious row Laura checked out of the White House and into the famous Mayflower Hotel for a few nights.

If they do break up George better be careful. He should remember that when Laura broke up with her fiancée many years ago she ‘accidentally’ mowed him down as he crossed the street a few days later. Had she been black or poor she’d have been sent to the chair on the spot, but in Texas the death penalty isn’t imposed on the rich and well-connected. And she’s both. So she didn’t even have to undergo a trial. Bush might need all the tricks he used to avoid violence in Vietnam to avoid it Washington.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Lovely. Let's see the bastard dragged through the divirce courts. I hate him!

expat said...

Virtually everyone hates him, you idiot. Including actual US citizens. Including conservatives with IQ's on the right half of the bell curve.

another expat said...

I agree with expat. only a small proportion of Americans like him now. I always hated the bastard, but have no reason to dislike Laura