Saturday, 17 February 2007

PC guidelines

The more observant of my readers will have noted that I LOVE policital correctness (PC). Accordingly I provide you with the following invaluable guidelines when referring to the fairer sex.


She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" - She is "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."

She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."

She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."

She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" - She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."

She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."

She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."

Now you'll be aware of course that PC doesn't apply to men, but just in case that day every comes (is that a pig I see flying past my window?) the following will be invaluable:

He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."

He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."

He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" - He prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS."

He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" - He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."

He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."

It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants - It's "REAR CLEAVAGE "

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